Roxannes Birth

I was due on July 5^th, which is actually the anniversary of when Rich and I met. I was getting pretty miserable and had been on maternity leave for about one week and was already bored out of my mind. Someone had old me that using yoga balls helped you to dialate so I was trying that. At my doctors appointment that Tuesday I was already dilated to two. I also took a prenatal aqua aerobics class having heard that someone went into labor right after class. My mom had called and said that her boss said it would be great if I had the baby that weekend so that she could be back on Monday. Rich’s mom was passing through town visiting Rich’s sister. I was ready to have this baby and so were the people around us. My water broke Friday night/Saturday morning at 1:30 and a dashed into the bathroom. It was really weird because I knew what was happening as soon as I woke up. I went back in to the bedroom and woke up Rich and we called the hospital. I wasn’t having any contractions so they said to wait two hours and then come in.

Well, with two hours to kill Rich cleaned up the mess in the bed and I did the dishes. Then I sat down to watch Nightmare on Elm Street V and eat brownies. Then the contractions came on. Holy cow they come on fast. They did not hurt very much at first and I was thinking that I would not need the epidural that I was hoping for. We left about ten minutes after the contractions started because as soon as they came, they were about three minutes apart. On the way to the hospital they kept getting stronger and closer.

We got checked in and got up to our room. The nurse who took us back to our room did not notice that the bed was on the highest level and I didn’t know so I climbed up and lay down. The next nurse who came in was amazed that I had climbed up into the bed on my own and apologized for the first nurse not noticing. I quickly realized that I was not going to be able to have this baby without the aid of drugs. My contractions were about a minute and half apart after an hour and lasting about 45 seconds. I had no time to recover and I did not know how to handle the pain.

My mom got to the hospital about an hour after I had the epidural and I was flying high. I was able to rest, get a little sleep, we watched Run Away Bride three times. Then the epidural started to wear off on my right side and this is where it starts to get bad.

I was having the worst pain on my right side but there was nothing that they could do. After about four hours there they came and checked and I was dilated to four. I was so ticked because I was to two four days before, why wasn’t I further? So the time is not going by very quickly at this point and I am hurting on my right side and then about two hours later I just get the feeling that I have to push this baby out. I buzz for a nurse and ask her to get the doctor to check me, I am certain that I am at 10 and ready to start pushing. I can’t fight this urge to push, it was the most overwhelming feeling that I have ever had in my life. So they finally get the doctor in there and sure enough, TIME TO PUSH. Now the whole time that I have been here they were having problems with the monitors staying on the right part of my stomach to monitor what they were supposed to. I gave a few cursory pushes and we were still having trouble getting the heartbeat. I can’t really remember why or when but at one point they put an internal monitor inside me on to Roxy’s head to monitor her heartbeat. This is when they found out that whenever I was pushing that Roxanne’s heartbeat would drop dangerously low. The cord was around her neck. For some reason my body produced too much placenta and gave this girl plenty of room to move around. They tried having me get on all fours and push, but with the epidural I could barely keep myself from toppling over, let alone stay up and push out a baby.

We tried a few different things for me to push and not put Roxanne in danger. The one position that we tried that seemed to work was my laying part way on my left side and having Rich hold up my right leg. Not the most flattering of positions. It was really hard because I was never really able to bear down. I could not use the stirrups as leverage. One leg was just lying next to me and the other was in Rich’s arms and he was not quite sure what to do. But her heart rate was doing great. After a while we tried the other side but her heart rate dropped again. So it was back on to the left for me.

Now this is where it gets pretty hazy. I know that they gave me an oxygen mask that I hated because it made my face all wet and I hate having a wet face. My mom said that I kept asking her what the dripping noise was. (It was the oxygen tank.) I was told that I pooped on the table a few times (YUCK). I felt like I was pushing forever, and after about an hour and half I asked the nurse how much longer that she thought it was going to take and she said about 20-25 minutes and I replied, “SHIT.’’ In front of my mother. Rich thinks this is the funniest part of the whole day.

So I do eventually get to the point where the real doctor comes in catch the baby. Problem is that I am done. I have been pushing for two hours and I am tired, soaking wet, exhausted and I am not pushing anymore. Then they tell me that Roxanne’s heartbeat has dropped again and is not coming back up. Then they finally let me use the stirrups and get in the good pushes because I have to get her out now. They decide that I need an episiotomy if I am to get this child out. I am pushing as hard as I know how and she is just stuck and not coming out. Her heart rate is not looking good. The doctor asks Rich to push the little red button behind me. There are three doctors in my room and one of them gets out the vacuum. I ask them to use it because I am exhausted and scared and I need help. They finally use it after a few more pushes. The NICU team comes in (that was the red button). The doctor gets Roxanne out halfway using the vacuum and stops so that she can cut the cord. The cord is stretched so tight that blood shoots across her mask as she cuts it. Once the cord is off of her neck the NICU team takes over and Roxanne is put on a table and bagged to help her breathe. I remember thinking that it was like a scene from ER and it scared me to the very core. After a minute or so they got her crying and she was fine.

I don’t really remember what happens right after that but I know that they tried to hand Roxanne to me and I did not want her. I never cried from joy and I wasn’t emotional. I think that I was scared because of everything that had just happened. Maybe it was because the doctor was still stitching me up. Maybe I was in shock, I don’t know. It was not until the next day when we got home and we were alone that I was able to really FEEL it all. We laid Roxanne down and Rich and I went and laid down in bed and I just started bawling. I cried for about ten minutes. Tears of fear, joy, apprehension, everything. We had been preparing for this baby for the past nine months, but nothing prepares you for the overwhelming emotions that go along with the babies.